Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I know her cup size but not her name....
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