Its about making memories worth repressing
you win again, gameday.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
