I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
