you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
