What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
