Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
