True but thats because hes a fetus.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
