This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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