I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
