i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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