I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
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Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
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I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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