we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
