franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
