A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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