you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize