I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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