Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
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i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
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Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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