ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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