Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
