I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
