I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
