Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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