Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
