dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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