have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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