Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize