Someone shit on the floor
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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