she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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