how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
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Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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