We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
