Can i not drive my cunt home
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
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