I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
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If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
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How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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