it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
