perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How does it feel to date your dad?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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