We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
