How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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