but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
