I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
