Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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