i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize