He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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