What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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