so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
