she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I need to calm my uterus...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
