I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
