Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
