let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
