CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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