Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
