Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
