my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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