It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
