So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
