How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
