I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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