two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize