weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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