But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
