Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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