I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
