I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
