i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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