just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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