i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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