Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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