Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
