watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
