He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
