I got chris browned last night
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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