Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
